My perfect little boy

I am laying here next to my little man watching him sleep. He wanted to sleep with Daddy last night and watch harry potter. He is tall for his age. It seems like just yesterday when he was fighting for his life in the NICU at childrens hospital. I remember seeing him before Andrea. How is that fair? He came so early and was rushed into another room. I remember the nurse telling me that he is doing ok now but he will most likely get worse before he gets better. I think back at the fact Andrea couldn't see him for a very long time. Even when they were done stitching her up they pulled her bed past his box and she didn't have her glasses. No mother should have to go without holding her baby after birth let alone 2 weeks later. We watched his first days in worry. We went to see him one time and we were told to wait in the waiting room. We never were told to wait in another room but I could see all these people around a table with a bright light and a baby laying there. My baby was on the other side of the room... so I felt sad for whoever that baby belonged to. When they came and got us they informed it was ours. And we could go see him but he would be paralyzed from all the morphine. They were getting him ready to ship over to the NICU at childrens. We were scared to death. They put this little baby barely over 4 lbs in this huge huge clear box this time. With all these wires going in and out of him. My heart broke. I remember feeling so desensitized.. so numb to the world. Who cared about anything else in life.. nothing else mattered. Looking back... I wish I could still feel that. It was a state of bliss in many ways. I don't know how many people know what I am truly talking about but it was nothing I had ever felt before. I didn't feel it with Wyatt, maybe because I knew he was gone :( To have that one single thing in life that was more important than anything... who cares if someone cut you off... Who cares if someone doesn't like you.. Who cares about computers... who cares about tv.... This was my boy... The nurse was right.. he got worse before he got better. He had a tube down his throat... he had goggles on .. he had IV's going in both sides of his head... To watch him go down and comeback up like that... I can't explain that feeling of knowing he was going to make it. And now as he lays next to me... I gave him a kiss on the cheek. Thinking... when is the last time you gave your son a kiss? I tell him I love him all the time... but when he was a baby... I couldn't wait until he kissed his daddy every day like I feel with Rhyli. This instinct to raise your boy to be a man has kicked in. I don't know why as men we feel like we can't give our little boys a kiss. Maybe because deep down we have to prepare them for the world. The world isn't as loving as we are. We want them to be tough. When he was a baby, I would worry about so many things. Now that he is grown I worry about others... He needs to be tougher.. He needs to stop crying.. He needs to learn how to ride his bike without training wheels.... I realize now how unimportant those things are. He will learn all of that. He loves his sister so much. He laughs at her constantly and she laughs at him. They love to see each other happy. He loves his sister so much he wants mommy and daddy to have another girl. And another one after that one.. and another. I said... "Why do you want another girl?" he says "They Impress me". How cute is that. My little boy is Perfect the way he is.

I'm ON YOUTUBE WATCHING THE WV DERBY!

You can see us here. We are 2:46- 2:49 seconds. You will look for the very tall person in black. Andrea is next to me in red and my mother is on the right with a greenish colored shirt. You can barely make her out. But there we are! We got to see a pretty good race but we really didn't know who won until we asked someone. It was a close one now that i can see it. Mine that bird never really sparked.... But Big drama was beautiful... we got to see him the most as he was crossing right in front of us with the lead. He came in second. Mine that bird followed in third. Soul Warrior shocked everyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3irH9JcF0s

Isn't this the greatest video of my boy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTBbxdbpkqE&feature=related

My Gazing Girl

My heart she was made
with her red rosy cheeks
her eyes are a gazing grey
blondish red hair
a touch of a curl
Her kiss is the one I crave
Ready set go
from the time I come home. She
Wants her daddy to play.
                        A flip and a twirl,
                        She's My little girl
                        she makes my life so real